Engaged Couples Marriage Formation

“Love alone brings a human being to full awareness of personal existence. For it is in love alone that man finds room enough to be what he is.” - Dietrich von Hildebrand

Marriage Preparation Steps

1. Call Your Parish
(8-12 months before the wedding) Call as soon as you get engaged! It is important to meet with your priest or deacon even before setting a date. A member of the parish staff will schedule a meeting with you to discuss your wedding preparations as soon as possible.

2. Initial Meeting
(8 months before the wedding) At this meeting, you’ll learn about the preparation process for the Sacrament of Holy Matrimony, begin the necessary paperwork for your marriage file, and set your tentative wedding date. The initial meetings with a priest or deacon will ensure that there is nothing standing in the way of a wedding in the Church. These initial meetings also begin the process of creating a marriage file, which is a record of everything that was done during marriage preparation.

3. FOCCUS Inventory
(7-8 months before the wedding) The FOCCUS Inventory provides you with a personalized profile of your relationship. Your parish will set up your inventory session and, upon completion, the follow-up sessions needed to review your results. These sessions aim to facilitate communication between you and your future spouse. *Note: Some parishes use inventories other than FOCCUS

4. Marriage Prep Program
(6 months before the wedding) Various programs are available within the Diocese and online, all of which focus on the theology of Catholic marriage as well as important life skills. You’ll receive help identifying a prep program that best fits your needs with your pastor. If your parish doesn’t offer its own program, your pastor may choose to send you to another program, see the list of “Marriage Preparation Classes” found HERE.

5. Final Meeting
(2 months before the wedding) This meeting will review your previous preparation, complete all of your paperwork, and plan your wedding liturgy. You’re getting close to celebrating this beautiful sacrament!

*Note: If you are getting married outside the Diocese of Manchester, then the completed marriage file will have to be submitted by the parish who is preparing you to the Diocese of Manchester one month prior to the wedding date (two months prior for a wedding outside the United States). The Diocese of Manchester will review the marriage file to ensure it is complete and will forward the file to the place of the wedding.

6. Reconciliation
(1 week before the wedding) Catholics preparing for the Sacrament of Holy Matrimony  are encouraged to receive the Sacrament of Reconciliation. Reconciliation and the Eucharist are invaluable sources of grace and healing. Celebrate this sacrament with your spouse-to-be!

Interfaith and Mixed Marriages

Marriages in which the partners do not share the same religious beliefs and affiliations are considered “mixed” marriages, or ecumenical marriages. If the couple is a Catholic and a non-Christian, the marriage is considered interfaith. Mixed marriages also include marriages in which the non-Catholic party has no religious persuasion. We know that ecumenical families are not identical; their lifestyles and faith choices are varied. The Catholic Church does try to support these couples to help them prepare to meet faith challenges with a spirit of holiness. Mixed religion couples can live out Christ’s call to be one and often experience a level of ecumenism more acutely.

For couples who are preparing for marriage, good-quality marriage preparation is essential in helping couples work through the questions and challenges that will arise after they marry, specifically those in regard to raising children.

Baptized Catholics are required to marry according to “canonical form,” that is, in Catholic ceremonies. Normally, a mixed marriage is celebrated by a priest outside of Mass because both spouses so not share full communion with the Church. At times, serious reasons may present obstacles to observing the “canonical form” of marriage. In these cases, the Catholic spouse should seek a Dispensation Form (permission to marry in a non-Catholic ceremony). The Church cannot recognize a non-Catholic ceremony, involving a Catholic party, without a dispensation. Subsequently, marrying according to canonical form (convalidation) remains possible for Catholics in this situation, even many years after a non-Catholic wedding. See your parish priest or deacon for more information.

See also: Interfaith-marriages